I can stand a lot of things.
I can stand hubris, gluttony, misogyny, hate.
But I cannot stand hypocrisy.
You may wonder how someone who calls themselves a feminist can stand misogyny, but not hypocrisy. The answer to that is very simple, I’m afraid. Misogynists believe that they are truly superior to women. They are prideful and incorrect, but their consistency is, in a way, admirable. They don’t sway from their paradigm; everything they say, they do, reflects their belief. But hypocrites, on the other hand, are not. They are inconsistent, to put it nicely. They say something but believe in the contradictory. Their actions are the opposite of what they preach. And it irks me, to no end, because it is so hard to call them out on their BS, because they change colors like a chameleon. A proverb in my native language, Urdu, says, “Na teen main na tera main.” It’s interpretation is that the person this proverb is referring to has his/her feet in both pools, and belongs to not one or the other, but rather belongs to neither.
That proverb accurately describes hypocrites. Like Janus, the trickster Roman God with two faces, hypocrites are multi-faceted, with so many facades its gets hard to keep up with them. Not all hypocrites are necessarily bad; they’re many kinds of hypocrites. There are those who are simply indecisive, unsure of who they are and what they believe in, and never tried to discover themselves, so they are left with believing in contradictory beliefs. They believe in one aspect of a broader topic that they say they firmly believe in, but at the same time disagree with another point of that same belief. There are others who changes faces for appearances’ sake – they are someone else, but will say are something else to appear popular or liberal e.t.c. Nonetheless, they are terrible company.
I think that my
hatred dislike for hypocrites stems from my own experiences with them.
For one, my father is a hypocrite. Don’t get me wrong, I love my father, but that does not mean that I will turn a blind eye to his flaws, his biggest one being that he has no consistent and solid ideals. And for someone who’s hit their golden age mark, inconsistency in ideals is unexpected. He comes off as a liberal, but is against women working (he will never say it aloud, but he has expressed it in many ways). As long as I have lived in Pakistan, I am not allowed to go to many places out alone, with friends, without any supervision (though this rule has changed in recent years), but I’m allowed to travel abroad alone.
His hypocrisy makes it difficult for me, mentally, to take action, because deep down I don’t want to disappoint him. And, as I said before, its hard to keep up and appease all his multiple facets. It does not mean that I will not make ends meet to secure my future, but it does make it difficult.
I have had my fair share of hypocritical friends as well. A fun fact about me; I am very, very comfortable with who I am. I have never felt the need to have a lot of friends, a squad (though that would be cool), but I will never, ever throw away who I am to become popular. I don’t want a clique of friends. I don’t want to befriend every foreigner who comes to my school just so that I can seem cool (no offense to any foreigner, they are cool people, I just feel that many people throw themselves at them because they are the ‘cool’ kids, and lose themselves in an attempt to be someone they’re not). But I have been, and still am, friends with people who no longer seem like the people I knew just to fit in. Maybe I never really knew them. Maybe I still don’t. But to me, they seem like hypocrites. They’re nice people, great people, but still hypocrites.
Over the years, I’ve grown not to give to much of myself away to people, to prevent myself from getting hurt too much. I’ve suffered far too much heartbreak at the expense of friendship to feel secure in any, no matter how true their hearts may be. I have friends, people I love and enjoy talking to. I have a social life I am very comfortable with, albeit I might not go out often, I go out with people I love, I am comfortable with – I refuse to lose myself in the process of achieving immature, worthless high school popularity. I strive for a better future. I will not sacrifice teenage fun for it, but I will not sacrifice my ability to love, trust, my mental peace or my heart in this race.
I refuse to be pulled down by words of people who have no clue who they are, who are letting society thrash them around, and want me to succumb to the will of the ones who are cooler. I refuse to be judged for being at peace. To those who read this, take my advice; do not let yourself be belittled or ridiculed by people who could not care less about you, who are comfortable with changing themselves over and over again, not for themselves, but others. Find yourself, then look for those who complement you. It’s a better alternative than to lose yourself to this hypocrisy that’s embedded into the roots of this world.